Starting Out
Have you ever wanted to try something new — something that piqued your interest — but are unsure of how or where to start? And you feel even worse when you start to overthink everything and become afraid that you might mess things up because you’re unsure of where things will go or how they’ll turn out? Afraid to have failed?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many people who have plans on starting out also have had those kinds of thoughts too.
When you’re embarking on a new adventure on your own, the experience can be quite daunting — especially when no one else close to you has done it before — meaning that there are no footsteps to follow.
This is slightly different than experiencing something for the first time. It’s not like the “firsts” that we generally have — i.e. your first job, your first time taking public transport alone, your first time trying a new food.
It’s about starting something on your own, something that (most of the time) no one around you has “firsts” on. It can be learning a foreign language, starting your own business, or even migrating to another country and living alone. These are the “firsts” that I’m referring to in this topic.
When you want to start something new — let’s say, a business of your choice — I’m sure a million questions will start to flood your mind. And I bet this one question, amongst the thousands, that would be a deciding factor to the start of this journey, is this — “What if I fail?”.
Chills shiver down your spine as you start to think about all the worst-case scenarios for starting a business — “What if I fail? What if I cannot manage my business well? What if no one patronises my business? What if my business closes down? What if my business goes bankrupt? What if…”
Well, it’s completely valid to have those thoughts and doubts. As humans, it’s normal to fear failure or have doubts about oneself, because nobody wants to fail. If you are one that is a perfectionist or you fear failure so much that you constantly worry that you would fail in whatever you do, it’s alright.
If you can’t start now, you can always start later — but never give up that start. Don’t give up on that dream, that passion.
My Tries
I’m no stranger to these. I’m always trying out new things so that my life doesn’t stagnate. Majority of my time is spent with myself, so I do have a lot of time to explore the different ways to live life.
Blessed with so much alone time, I started many things on my own. Some of which are — starting my own blog site, learning how to edit videos and photoshop, creating digital art, and even learning a foreign language.
It wasn’t easy, starting out on those. I was pretty much alone the whole time. There was no one around me that had much knowledge on these so I had to learn and do everything on my own. Research, creation, decisions — everything — all by myself.
Why do I want to do it? Why do I want to have these new “starts” alone?
Personally, these new starts came about purely from my passions.
I started my blog site because I wanted to write and express my feelings, and to share my thoughts with the world to hopefully help others who relate to it as well.
I learned video editing because I enjoy the process of it, and also so I could edit videos for others that may not have the time or energy to do it.
I learned to create digital art so I could express my feelings through it and also to have some artwork owned by me.
I learn languages so that I can communicate with people who speak other languages (e.g. Spanish, Thai). I want to connect with people and understand cultures, and not let language barrier be a thing that stops me from discovering the world out there. I let language be the first stepping stone to understanding people, their culture, and their country.
And of course, I didn’t choose to be alone when I started out. I didn’t have a choice, actually. The people around me just happen to not be interested in these things, so I had to do it alone.
It was scary because I didn’t have anyone to rely on, no one to back up to.
And just like the others, I had that same question pop up in my mind — “What if I fail?”
“What if I fail to run a website? What if I fail to write a blog? What if I fail to edit videos to their standards? What if I fail to create a piece of art that expresses my feelings well? What if I fail to learn a language because it’s too hard to understand? What if…what if…what if…”
I had to build a strong mentality and try to conquer this mental barrier all on my own. Everything is tougher when you’re alone because it’s your own battle, and you’re just one person. Things might’ve been easier if there was someone else, but unfortunately, not in my case.
How did I build a strong mentality?
Instead of taking things negatively, I changed the way I see things. Instead of saying “What if I fail”, I say “What if I tried?”. Instead of regretting not trying, I’ll be glad I tried. And even if I fail, I just get up and try again. Just don’t give up.
I’ve regretted too much for the things I didn’t do, and now, I want to do all the things I want to do. I’m still young, still exploring life, and I should do what I want while I still can. I don’t want to grow old and realise that I haven’t tried this or that.
There’s too many things in the world to try and there’s no way we have time to try everything. Life’s too short to not do the things you want.
And with this mentality, this mindset — I was able to start what I wanted.
How Things Are Going
If you’re curious how things are going for me — things are going decently well — not horrible nor perfect.
Ever since I started putting my passions into action, commitments of other things (such as work and family) came along and I needed to put some things on hold. To a certain extent, I know my limits, and I know that when there’s too much on my plate, I have to sacrifice some things and put them on hold first.
Not “stopping”, but “on hold”.
This is a way of handling commitments and tasks for me. Back then, I thought I had to squeeze everything into my schedule and burn myself out to be able to do ALL the things I wanted to, but it’s just not how it’s supposed to be. I realise that it’s totally alright to put things on hold while I work on the other things that require more attention.
It’s like a “priority list” on the things you need to do — you rank the tasks based on how important and urgent they are. The Eisenhower Matrix is an accurate representation of what I’m talking about. The Eisenhower Matrix is a tool that can be used to determine what actions to take depending on how important or urgent a task is. So if you’re struggling with managing your time, you can check it out.
Back to how my passions are going — I have a few of them on hold because I simply do not have the time and energy for it because of a new work commitment for me. My plate is starting to overflow and I needed to sacrifice a thing or two for the sake of my sanity. So, I have decided to slow things down and put them on hold while I stabilise my situation before continuing.
So what, if you failed?
There will always be wins and losses. No one can win everything, but one can lose everything.
If you failed, so what?
You started, you tried, you attempted — you didn’t let go of the opportunity. You didn’t choose to walk away from it just because you were scared. You gave yourself a chance. The moment you tried, you already won. There are so many people out there that couldn’t even start because of how afraid they are of failing. So, just by starting, just by taking that first step, you’ve already won half the battle, and you just have to keep working on it.
If you fail, allow yourself to cry a few tears (if you must) to let your emotions out, then you get up and try again. If you’re tired, take a break, put that task/commitment on hold. But whatever you do, do not give up, do not stop completely. If you have what it takes to start in the first place, you are capable of continuing and finishing what you started.
If you regret trying, let me ease your mind with this: If you tried for the first time and you failed, it’s okay. You had the courage to try. You experimented and now you have something to work with. Whether you failed or succeeded, you now know the next step you’re gonna take. If you didn’t try, you wouldn’t have known the outcome, and you might even feel guilty for not trying. Don’t blame yourself for trying, thank yourself. (This can be applied to anything you want to try. If you have the heart for it, go for it. Don’t be afraid of trying.)
You are doing better than you think.
Thanks for reading :>
Quote of The Blog
Just because you took longer than others, doesn’t mean you failed. Remember that.
– Unknown