A person holding a controller and gaming in front of a monitor.
Image by Tima Miroshnichenko

Contents


My Gaming Story

Being able to play games on a regular basis is a privilege, and it can be a real stress reliever. After all, that’s mainly the reason why the average person plays games right? A way to enjoy their pastimes either alone or with friends to play some games.

Personally, I have always loved gaming. It is my favourite pastime.

At first, I could manage my time well — playing for a few hours a day and then stopping myself after.

But at one point, I couldn’t stop myself because I was having so much fun

So much fun that — I didn’t want to do anything else but play — because everything seemed much easier. I didn’t have to worry about anything and I had the time.

…and that might’ve led to a gaming addiction.


How It Started

It’s all fun and games when we play games. When we win a game, it’s normal for us to want to play more after that. When we lose, most of the time we would want to play again and again to become better at the game. 

Or at least, that’s what I’ve experienced.

I didn’t know that I would become someone like that. Gaming has always been a part of my life. And I could always control it. Always

Until I started playing competitive games. Games like VALORANT, PUBG, Call of Duty, Apex Legends, etc. 

That’s when the gaming addiction started.

I couldn’t stop myself because I wanted to become better after every loss, or I wanted the sweet taste of victory again after an epic win. There was nothing stopping me from playing the game. I wanted that taste of fun, so I continued playing…until I became addicted to gaming.

There could be underlying reasons for the gaming addiction too — like trapping myself in my room to play because I wanted my alone time, or I’m playing games to run away from my problems. I don’t know.

I would skip meals to play, I would lose my sleep to play, and I would stay home all day just to play — to get better at the game, and have fun.

Heck, I didn’t even want to work.

I knew it wasn’t the best thing to do but I was in my teens — what do I know?

I was just a dumb kid who only focused on short-term fun and happiness from the hell I was living in, just trying to get by each day.


Choices

Clearly, gaming has obstructed much of my life, perhaps my future too, but I still have a choice to stop and make things right. I can choose to walk away from this happiness that gaming has given me.

The gaming addiction may not seem as impactful to others — one might even argue that kids should play games and enjoy their teens and maybe worry about life a little later. That was my mindset about gaming before. Now, I start to see gaming as a waste of time.

Why? — I could be using my time more wisely and invest in myself. I could be learning a new skill to upskill myself, to improve myself. I could be learning about things that the school doesn’t teach, like investing in the stock market, learning about the new technologies that are emerging, creating a new start-up, etc.

There are so many more meaningful things I could do with that time. And I have decided that gaming is just not it. I am not pursuing competitive esports as a career either, so there was absolutely no reason for me to be playing that hard.

As much as I want to play, I also don’t want to just sit at home all day and rot away, wasting my time like I don’t have bills to pay.

Gaming is fine, in moderation. I wouldn’t say that I would completely leave gaming behind me, but I will need to learn to control it again — controlling the urge to play games excessively.

I will still play games as my stress reliever, I will still play games to connect with friends, and I will still play games to keep myself sane from work.

Everything in moderation.


For Myself

As hard as it may seem — when I stop doing something I love, I have to do it, for myself.

Gaming has brought me so much joy since young, but unfortunately, it is not the most ideal life for the average person, or for me. I have bigger dreams to achieve and if I allow gaming to hinder my journey, I might never achieve them.

It’s a sacrifice I have to make for myself.


Conclusion

This is a short read but a meaningful one, for me at least. I hope it sparked some realization for you as it did for me.

Realizing that I have to let go of some things — in this case, gaming — to lead a better life for myself. If I don’t, I will just be stuck in an endless loop, spiraling.

Sacrifice is necessary. You lose and you gain.


Quote of The Blog

Speak your truth with compassion and care. Own your mistakes and weaknesses. We all have them. And it is far more honest to accept and face them than to ignore or hide them.

– Dr. Anil Kumar Sinha

By Kassie