Toxic Relationships — How far can it go?

Relationships

Ahh — relationships —  something that people want, something that people hate, something that people consider to have, something that some of us don’t even think about.

What are relationships? What are they for? Why do people yearn for it?

Generally speaking, a relationship is something that one looks for when one wants love, connection, happiness, and also to claim a human to be theirs (forever). 

A relationship could mean having someone who:

• you want to spend your pastimes with
• sticks with you through thick or thin
• loves you wholeheartedly
• would never do anything to hurt you
• won’t cheat on you

(The list could go on and I’ll never be done)

You get the idea — being in a relationship means to love and be loved. And a healthy relationship is what everyone wants. 

But what if things took a turn, and your partner does otherwise?

Toxic Relationships

Toxic Relationships are everywhere. Sometimes, even a stranger outside could see that there’s something wrong in a relationship that they aren’t even a part of.

You might’ve heard some of your friends ranting about their relationships — what their partners do that annoy them so much that they can’t take it, yet they still stay in that relationship because they claim to love the other so much, and if they were to break up, it would be “too late” to do so because of the amount of “effort, time and energy” they had put into that relationship?

People say, “Love is blind”.

So blind — that even the biggest red flag could be seen by everyone else but the people in the relationship. Yes, that blind.

That’s the first type of relationship that I would consider toxic — the “love is blind” relationship.

Another type of toxic relationship are those who know that they’re in a toxic relationship — but are unable to get out of it. 

There are plenty of people out there looking for relationships, usually for healthy ones. 

When they do find one, they settle in for a few months, maybe years, before realizing how toxic the relationship is. Once they realize how toxic their partner is, it is too late — because their partner already has a hold on them.

“Hold on them” — what exactly do I mean?

Blackmailing, threats, spreading of rumors, doxxing, etc. — they have all the information they need to do it all.

They show threats or harm towards their partner so that they wouldn’t leave or break up with them. These usually happen when there are too many secrets shared between both parties. 
(Disclaimer: I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share secrets or be dishonest with your partner. This is a general statement being used.)

The person who is being threatened is “trapped” in the relationship by the other person — their so-called partner whom they thought was the right person for them.

How would they escape from these situations when their partners have become a “psychopath”? 

I can only advise them to do everything they can to stay away from their partners and also get physical protection, if necessary, from families, friends, and the authorities (if things get too serious).

In my opinion, this is the scariest type of toxic relationship.

My experience as a stranger towards toxic relationships

I have seen way too many toxic relationships that leave me, a stranger, thinking about what is in those relationships that make them stay in it, or trapped in it. 

Stories from my friends, stories from the internet — all of them make me question what made them end up in those kind of situations.

A friend of mine was in a toxic relationship with her boyfriend. They spent most of their time together and doing things like a normal couple would. They were in a relationship for about more than a year until she initiated a break up with him. 

Breaking the big news to him was easy, but how he took it, wasn’t.

Turns out, he had thought that they were in a happy and healthy relationship, but in my friend’s point of view, it was a toxic one.

How so?

He cheated on her and she forgave him, twice.

Once bitten, twice shy — but he doesn’t care. She realized that he might do it again and decided that he was deemed “not ready for a relationship”, thus the break up.
(There’s much more to it but let’s keep it simple.)

After the break-up, he would disturb her occasionally by sending her messages asking to talk, following her around, threatening to dox her, and playing the victim card.

Fortunately for her, she was able to get out of that situation by blocking him off completely and managed to get protection by being around her friends and family as much as possible, when necessary.

In another encounter, I happened to come across a post on Reddit the other day. 

(The incident was very similar to my friend’s, but nonetheless, it still shows that toxic relationships are everywhere.)

The original poster (OP) was saying that she couldn’t break up with her boyfriend because she basically spilled her whole life story to him, and he told her that if she were to break up with him, he would try and spread her story and rumors everywhere he can so that he could ruin her life.

Isn’t that tragic? If you love someone so much, why would you want to harm them? Even if they wanted to leave you, shouldn’t you let them leave in peace? 

I know how horrible it feels when someone you love leaves you, especially if that person was someone whom you thought you would be together with forever. But what is the point of causing harm to them? Just because you can’t have them, does that mean others can’t have them too? At the same time, would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t love you like they used to?

I feel bad for OP. The post sounded like she was planning to break up with him. I don’t know how things went down for her but I hope it is well.

Conclusion

In the end, how far do you think toxic relationships can go? How bad can things get before somebody loses their sanity?

Would you argue that if you love someone, you would do whatever it takes to make things work? Even if things become too toxic?

Do you believe that love is the answer to the toxicity?

Well, whatever you do in whatever relationship you are in, I hope that you have a clear mind when making decisions and that you will not make any mistake that is brutal enough to make the other person want to hurt you.

Quote of The Blog

With that, I leave you with another quote to read.

Not every relationship will end in a blissful marriage. It’s better to have a failed and disappointed courtship than a failed and toxic marriage. 

– Kemmy Nola